Re: Postel's Draft

["Perry E. Metzger" <perry@piermont.com>]

Marc Hurst writes:
> Not only is this a sacriligous comment but it is insulting to claim this 
> internationaliztion exists when there are no members outside the United 
> States.

Ah, you've caught on to our nefarious scheme! We've been claiming that
many of the members of the IAHC don't live in the U.S., but that was
of course just a front. For example, "Jun Murai" is not a real
person. He's just an actor we hired. We got him, "Geoff Huston",
"Robert Shaw", "Albert Tramposch", and "Hank Nussbacher" as a package
deal from a rep theater company in Santa Cruz, California. They've
been doing a really good job of pretending to be from outside the
U.S. -- and they've been very competitive price wise. Although we have
access to a large pool of money secretly maintained by the Grey Aliens
via their "NSI" cover (the so-called $7million), it still pays to be
economical. As you know, the Greys have been attempting for some time
to get control of U.S. telecommunications infrastructure, and their
work with certain former U.S. intelligence operatives via the "SAIC"
organization (which they in fact secretly control) has yielded
extraordinary benefits. Although this has alleviated some funding
problems, the quantities expended in the course of the overarching
worldwide conspiracy are always very large and budgets get tight.

Just so you know, though, the $20,000 has nothing to do with the
budget problems the Aliens are facing at all. The $20,000 business is
in fact far more nefarious than any of you realize. The purpose isn't
to get money, but to assure that accounting clerks at large internet
service organizations be infected with the secret mind control virus
we've created. The virus is mixed with DMSO and impregnated into the
returned checks we will be sending back -- the DMSO acts to transport
the virus through the skin. We need the accounting departments of
these organizations to be fully under our power in order to assure
that they will not notice the tremendous accounting discrepancies
associated with the large numbers of high speed internet links
secretly in use by the Council on Foreign Relations, another one of
our fronts. Did you know, by the way, that Jon Postel is secretly in
control of the CFR? The whole academic in birkenstocks thing is just a
pose.

By the way, several of the IAHC's members aren't even humans at all,
although with the mimetic plastic bodysuits they wear it would be
impossible for you to notice without careful examination.

Now, of course, that you've blown our cover, we'll just have to
dissolve ourselves and escape back to the mother ship. Clever seeing
through our evil plan this time, but you won't be so lucky the next.



Klatu Nemron of Zorgoth B, a.k.a "Perry Metzger"
Speaking for myself, and not the Supreme Council of Interstellar Overlords.