elvis@graceland.com: Re: Postel's Draft

["Perry E. Metzger" <perry@piermont.com>]

Anyone here think this is an actual death threat from Simon Higgs (the
owner of graceland.com and most certainly the owner of the machine
that delivered this message to my mail server) or is it just chaff that
I should be ignoring?

Perry

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Date: Wed, 1 Jan 1997 15:27:37 -0800
To: perry@piermont.com
From: elvis@graceland.com
Subject: Re: Postel's Draft

At 2:09 PM -0500 1/1/97, Perry E. Metzger wrote:

> Marc Hurst writes:
> > Not only is this a sacriligous comment but it is insulting to claim this
> > internationaliztion exists when there are no members outside the United
> > States.
>
> Ah, you've caught on to our nefarious scheme! We've been claiming that
> many of the members of the IAHC don't live in the U.S., but that was
> of course just a front. For example, "Jun Murai" is not a real
> person. He's just an actor we hired. We got him, "Geoff Huston",
> "Robert Shaw", "Albert Tramposch", and "Hank Nussbacher" as a package
> deal from a rep theater company in Santa Cruz, California. They've
> been doing a really good job of pretending to be from outside the
> U.S. -- and they've been very competitive price wise. Although we have
> access to a large pool of money secretly maintained by the Grey Aliens
> via their "NSI" cover (the so-called $7million), it still pays to be
> economical. As you know, the Greys have been attempting for some time
> to get control of U.S. telecommunications infrastructure, and their
> work with certain former U.S. intelligence operatives via the "SAIC"
> organization (which they in fact secretly control) has yielded
> extraordinary benefits. Although this has alleviated some funding
> problems, the quantities expended in the course of the overarching
> worldwide conspiracy are always very large and budgets get tight.
>
> Just so you know, though, the $20,000 has nothing to do with the
> budget problems the Aliens are facing at all. The $20,000 business is
> in fact far more nefarious than any of you realize. The purpose isn't
> to get money, but to assure that accounting clerks at large internet
> service organizations be infected with the secret mind control virus
> we've created. The virus is mixed with DMSO and impregnated into the
> returned checks we will be sending back -- the DMSO acts to transport
> the virus through the skin. We need the accounting departments of
> these organizations to be fully under our power in order to assure
> that they will not notice the tremendous accounting discrepancies
> associated with the large numbers of high speed internet links
> secretly in use by the Council on Foreign Relations, another one of
> our fronts. Did you know, by the way, that Jon Postel is secretly in
> control of the CFR? The whole academic in birkenstocks thing is just a
> pose.
>
> By the way, several of the IAHC's members aren't even humans at all,
> although with the mimetic plastic bodysuits they wear it would be
> impossible for you to notice without careful examination.
>
> Now, of course, that you've blown our cover, we'll just have to
> dissolve ourselves and escape back to the mother ship. Clever seeing
> through our evil plan this time, but you won't be so lucky the next.
>
> Klatu Nemron of Zorgoth B, a.k.a "Perry Metzger"
> Speaking for myself, and not the Supreme Council of Interstellar Overlords.

Cool. Now we have a valid reason to kill you.




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