Re: ATTENTION flamers

[Jeff Williams <jwkckid1@ix.netcom.com>]

Antony

  GREAT POST!  LOL!  I luved it emensly!  I hope that you forwarded a
special copy to all the IHC/gTLD-MoU menbers.  They are the most
worthy of these pearls of Flame Wisdom.  I intend to keep this 
forever, as it is excelent humor and good suggestion material.

  And without further adue, I am "Cross posting" this to the 
Domain-Policy list!  LOL!  >:))  I believe that is rule #3.

  GREAT STUFF!

Antony Van Couvering wrote:
> 
> I must say the quality of the flames is going down on the domain-related
> lists.  I'd like to repost some rules so that we can operate these lists
> again as first-class sewers of unconscionable blather.
> 
> --Antony
> 
> *************************************************************
> 
> From: rolleston_c@ix.wcc.govt.nz (Chris Rolleston)
> Subject: The Twelve Commandments of Flaming
> Date: 19 Sep 1994 13:03:33 GMT
> 
> 1. Make things up about your opponent: It's important to make your lies
> sound true. Preface your argument with the word "clearly." "Clearly,
> Brian Hillis is a racist, and a dirtball to boot."
> 
> 2. Be an armchair psychologist: You're a smart person. You've heard of
> Freud. You took a psychology course in college. Clearly, you're
> qualified to psychoanalyze your opponent. "Peach Pshawski (God Bless
> You!), by using the word 'zucchini' in her posting, shows she has a bad
> case of .........."
> 
> 3. Cross-post your flames: Everyone on the net is just waiting for the
> next literary masterpiece to leave your terminal. From OPINION to
> EZ-READER to PETS to CHIT-CHAT, they're all holding their breaths until
> your next flame. Therefore, post everywhere.
> 
> 4. Conspiracies abound: If everyone's against you, the reason can't
> *possibly* be that you're a #anatomypart@. There's obviously a
> conspiracy against you, and you will be doing the entire net a favor by
> exposing it.
> 
> 5. Lawsuit threats: This is the reverse of Rule #4 (sort of like the
> Yin & Yang of flaming). Threatening a lawsuit is always considered to
> be in good form. "By saying that I've posted to the wrong group,
> |Didley has libelled me, slandered me, and sodomized me. See you in
> court, |Didley."
> 
> 6. Force them to document their claims: Even if Ralph Gagliano states
> outright that he likes tomato sauce on his pasta, you should demand
> documentation. If Newsweek hasn't written an article on Ralph's pasta
> preferences, then Ralph's obviously lying.
> 
> 7. Use foreign phrases: French is good, but Latin is the lingua franca
> of flaming. You should use the words "ad hominem" at least three times
> per article. Other favorite Latin phrases are "ad nauseum", "vini,
> vidi, vici", "fetuccini alfredo".
> 
> 8. Tell 'em how smart you are: Why use intelligent arguments to
> convince them you're smart when all you have to do is tell them? State
> that you're a member of Mensa or Mega or Dorks of America. Tell them
> the scores you received on every exam since high school. "I got an 800
> on my SATs, LSATs, GREs, MCATs, and I can also spell the word
> 'premeiotic'".
> 
> 9. Accuse your opponent of censorship. It is your right as an American
> citizen to post whatever the hell you want to the net (as guaranteed by
> the 37th Amendment, I think). Anyone who tries to limit your
> cross-posting or move a flame war to Netusers is either a communist, a
> fascist, or both.
> 
> 10. Doubt their existence: You've never actually seen your opponent,
> have you? And since you're the center of the universe, you should have
> seen them by now, shouldn't you? Therefore, THEY DON'T EXIST! This is
> the beauty of flamers' logic.
> 
> 11. Lie, cheat, steal, leave the toilet seat up.
> 
> 12. When in doubt, insult: If you forget the other 11 rules, remember
> this one. At some point during your wonderful career as a flamer you
> will undoubtedly end up in a flame war with someone who is better than
> you. This person will expose your lies, tear apart your arguments, make
> you look generally like a bozo. At this point, there's only one thing
> to do: insult the dirtbag!!! "Oh yeah? Well, your mother does strange
> things with..........."
> 
> The Golden Rule of Flaming:
> 
> My flames will be witty, insulting, interesting, funny, caustic, or
> sarcastic, but never, ever, will they be boring.
> 
> +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> Antony Van Couvering | avc@netnamesusa.com
> NETNAMES USA - International Domain Name Registry
> 430 West 14th St., Suite 401 New York, NY 10014 USA
> Phone Toll-free 888-NETNAMES | Intl: +1 212 627-4599
> Fax +1 212 627-5744 | http://www.netnamesusa.com
> +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Regards,
-- 
Jeffrey A. Williams
DIR. Internet Network Eng/SR. Java Development Eng.
Information Eng. Group. IEG. INC. 
Phone :913-294-2375 (v-office)
E-Mail jwkckid1@ix.netcom.com