Re: ATTENTION flamers

[Vince Wolodkin <wolodkin@digitalink.com>]

Antony Van Couvering wrote:
> 
> I must say the quality of the flames is going down on the domain-related
> lists.  I'd like to repost some rules so that we can operate these lists
> again as first-class sewers of unconscionable blather.
> 
> --Antony
> 
> *************************************************************
> 
> From: rolleston_c@ix.wcc.govt.nz (Chris Rolleston)
> Subject: The Twelve Commandments of Flaming
> Date: 19 Sep 1994 13:03:33 GMT
> 
> 1. Make things up about your opponent: It's important to make your lies
> sound true. Preface your argument with the word "clearly." "Clearly,
> Brian Hillis is a racist, and a dirtball to boot."
> 

Clearly,  Mr. Van Couvering is backing the gTLD-MoU for the good of the
internet.  Those of you suggesting a profit motive should be ashamed.

> 
> 4. Conspiracies abound: If everyone's against you, the reason can't
> *possibly* be that you're a #anatomypart@. There's obviously a
> conspiracy against you, and you will be doing the entire net a favor by
> exposing it.
>

I think their is a conspiracy against the gTLD-MoU.  In fact I am proud
to say that I am a part of it.
 
> 5. Lawsuit threats: This is the reverse of Rule #4 (sort of like the
> Yin & Yang of flaming). Threatening a lawsuit is always considered to
> be in good form. "By saying that I've posted to the wrong group,
> |Didley has libelled me, slandered me, and sodomized me. See you in
> court, |Didley."
>

You used the word "sodomize" in an open posting to lists where children
maight be present without prefacing it with proper warnings.
 
> 7. Use foreign phrases: French is good, but Latin is the lingua franca
> of flaming. You should use the words "ad hominem" at least three times
> per article. Other favorite Latin phrases are "ad nauseum", "vini,
> vidi, vici", "fetuccini alfredo".
> 

a la Perry Metzger!

> 8. Tell 'em how smart you are: Why use intelligent arguments to
> convince them you're smart when all you have to do is tell them? State
> that you're a member of Mensa or Mega or Dorks of America. Tell them
> the scores you received on every exam since high school. "I got an 800
> on my SATs, LSATs, GREs, MCATs, and I can also spell the word
> 'premeiotic'".
>

a la Jeff Williams!
  
> 10. Doubt their existence: You've never actually seen your opponent,
> have you? And since you're the center of the universe, you should have
> seen them by now, shouldn't you? Therefore, THEY DON'T EXIST! This is
> the beauty of flamers' logic.
> 

I exist, I am just a giant pink bunny rabbit.

> 12. When in doubt, insult: If you forget the other 11 rules, remember
> this one. At some point during your wonderful career as a flamer you
> will undoubtedly end up in a flame war with someone who is better than
> you. This person will expose your lies, tear apart your arguments, make
> you look generally like a bozo. At this point, there's only one thing
> to do: insult the dirtbag!!! "Oh yeah? Well, your mother does strange
> things with..........."
>

Right, like there is something I would say to insult you that you hadn't
already heard before:-)
 
> The Golden Rule of Flaming:
> 
> My flames will be witty, insulting, interesting, funny, caustic, or
> sarcastic, but never, ever, will they be boring.
>

You forgot concise.  
 
> +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> Antony Van Couvering | avc@netnamesusa.com
> NETNAMES USA - International Domain Name Registry
> 430 West 14th St., Suite 401 New York, NY 10014 USA
> Phone Toll-free 888-NETNAMES | Intl: +1 212 627-4599
> Fax +1 212 627-5744 | http://www.netnamesusa.com
> +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Vince Wolodkin